"The Bottom Three: The Voters Get It Right” by Guy Aoki

Thursday, March 10.  The weekly chip-off began tonight.  Over 30 million votes came in and we were there to see who would be going home.  Host Ryan Seacrest announced that Casey Abrams was once again back in the hospital and wasn’t amongst the Top 13 that night.

     The remaining contestants did a medley of Michael Jackson hits “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin,’” “Rock With You,” “Black Or White,” and “Man In the Mirror.”  This is always a great opportunity to hear all of the singers back-to-back to see how they sound compared to each other.  Some of them blended so seamlessly into the other that you thought it was still the same person.  And then there was Ashton Jones who stood out like a sore thumb when contributing her part to the second hit.  She was clearly the weakest singer on stage.

     We were “treated” to the obligatory music video plugging Ford, one of the show’s sponsors.  All I remember was a clever bit where the singers appeared to be tearing off pieces of paper and scenery at the same time and a camera that kept shifting left and right with quick MTV-styled edits that gave me a headache.

     If that wasn’t enough—or the fact that Fox makes about half a million dollars for every 30 second spot it airs—they had to pimp a movie which is opening tomorrow--Red Riding Hood (because so many recorders skip over commercials, advertisers constantly look for new ways to force their product into the shows themselves, and this is one of the ways “Idol” has milked even more money from corporate sponsors over the years).  Star Amanda Seyfried was sitting in the audience looking and acting like an annoying, flaky teenager.  We saw how the Top 13 went to the red carpet premiere and got to talk to some of the film’s stars.  Then we were “forced” to see scenes in the theatre and the singers’ reactions.

     Just for that, as most of us did when they imposed Mike Myers and The Love Guru upon us three years ago, I hope this movie flops.  The only thing that wasn’t predictable about this “within a show plug” was that it wasn’t made by 20^th Century Fox, the film counterpart to Fox Television, but Warner Brothers.

     Finally, Seacrest did the death march drill, calling up three contestants at a time and reviewing some of the comments their performances elicited last night from the judges.  First up:  Jacob Lusk, Stefano Langone, and Karen Rodriguez.  Right away, I knew Rodriguez was in the bottom three for her terrible version of Selena’s “I Could Fall In Love” (she claims she had technical problems and couldn’t hear herself well).  Yep.  She was in the bottom three.

     Season 8 Idol runner-up Adam Lambert performed an unplugged version of a song he co-wrote, “Aftermath.”  He sang sitting on a stool backed up by three musicians:  one on tom toms, another on acoustic guitar, and another what looked like a bass.  He behaved himself, refraining from making out with any of them.  Forgettable song and performance.  Seacrest told the audience he’d played the dance remix on his radio show, and Lambert reported that proceeds from it were going to the Trevor Project, part of the “It Gets Better” campaign which supports bullied gays.

     The next three singers to walk the plank were Lauren Alaina, Haley Reinhart, and Ashton Jones.  Lauren said that after hearing back her performance of Shania Twain’s “Any Man Of Mine” last night, she agreed with the judges:   “I sucked… They were right—it wasn’t good.  It was bad, and I’m sorry.”  It was one of the few moments this brassy 15 year old showed some vunerability, and I actually felt for her as she teared up and audience tried to support her.  Just in the nick of time, Seacrest said he wasn’t going to draw it out any longer and told her she was safe.  Then she started crying. 

     Judge Randy Jackson pointed out that when Reinhart sings Alicia Keys one week and LeAnn Rimes another, it makes for a confusing musical identity.  Ashton admitted that the judges were right:  she should’ve chosen a Diana Ross song that people actually knew (duh!) but that she wanted to show her soft side.

     Seacrest revealed that Ashton was in the bottom three… then added that Haley was also there.      

     Meaning that the rest of the contestants sitting on the bleachers were safe.  This was the fastest Seacrest has ever revealed the fate of the contestants, not even bothering to call half of them on stage before announcing the results!

     Which means I guessed the entire bottom three correctly (see last night’s blog).

     There was more “entertainment” from Dirty-Diddy Money, the latest concoction of Puff Daddy/P. Diddy.  “Coming Home” began with a female singer at the piano sounding like a cross between Dido and Sarah McLachlan with a cackle in her voice.  Then Diddy went and ruined it all by talking—er, rapping.  He finished it up with support from two back-up singers.  Boring.  Of course, judge Steven Tyler, who seems to like everything, gave them a standing ovation.   Please.

     Seacrest called up the bottom three and announced that Ashton Jones received the lowest number of votes.  She got to sing one last time in the hope that the judges would use their veto power and save her (they can use it on any singer--but only once--and before they reach the Top Five).  Even though she already explained why it was a bad choice, she again did that Diana Ross ballad that nobody knows!  As she struggled through it, I thought about how the judges could’ve picked Clint Jun Gamboa as one of their “wild card” choices instead of this amateur.  As I expected, it wasn’t good enough.  Jennifer Lopez sadly told her the verdict was unanimous:  “Not this time, baby.  Sorry.”

     We saw a montage of her Ashton’s journey with the new “Idol” exit song, David Cook’s version of Simple Minds’ “Don’t You (Forget About Me),” playing in the background.

     Although I’d predicted Karen Rodriguez was going home, I asserted in March 4’s blog that Ashton Jones’ time on the show was extremely limited:  “Just watch:  Jones will be ‘voted out’ by the audience within two weeks anyway.  She’s simply too ordinary.”  Thanks for maintaining my faith in you, voters!

    

“Idols Inspired By Their Idols Fail To Impress” by Guy Aoki

Wednesday, March 9.  Tonight, the Top 13 contestants got to perform songs by the artists who inspired them.  On the whole, they impressed the judges more than me.  For the first time, instead of working out arrangements with the vocal coaches and house band, everyone was paired with a current hit producer who also recorded a full length version of their selection in the studio.  At 10:00 PST, all 13 tracks were released in a digital compilation album on itunes for $7.99.

1.      Lauren Alaina.  Shania Twain:  “Any Man Of Mine.”  Don Was, producer.   Alaina loved Twain’s country/pop crossover style, but the contestant performed this hit in a style too country for my tastes.  Steven Tyler said he wished she’d chosen a song that had been more “kick ass.”  Randy Jackson felt she sang it well but agreed that it didn’t allow her to shine as much as in the past.

2.      Casey Abrams.  Joe Cocker:  “With A Little Help From My Friends.”  Jimmy Iovine, producer.  The chairman of Interscope Records reminded Abrams that Cocker’s version of the Beatles classic was a very physical performance and that he had to approach it the same way.  We even saw video clips of Cocker all fat, pale, and sweaty with his voice stuck in his throat letting out an “uhhhhhh!”  Yuck!  The contestant didn’t really get into it until he hit the chorus.  Overall, I thought it was more style over substance.  Naturally, all the judges loved it.

3.      Ashton Jones.  Diana Ross:  “When You Tell Me That You Love Me.”  Rodney Jerkins, producer.  Of all the hits in Ms. Ross’s catalogue to pull out, Jones chose one of the most boring, non-hit ballads from 1991.  Jones sang a bad note in the beginning, and she never really took off.  Jackson said she was both sharp and flat but managed to “pull it back in.”  Tyler usually likes everything and he liked this one.  Jennifer Lopez agreed about her being off key and wanted to hear a song the audience knew.

4.      Paul McDonald.  Ryan Adams:  “Come Pick Me Up.”  Don Was, producer.  I thought he said Bryan Adams, which would’ve almost guaranteed a boring performance of a lame song.  But McDonald meant the non-hit artist so obviously, we were going to be stuck with another unknown song.  His bottom notes all but evaporated.  I’m beginning to wonder what I saw in this guy before.  Tyler uttered the first use of the word “pitchy” this season but loved McDonald’s raspy voice.  Lopez actually admitted she wasn’t familiar with either the artist or the song, and she wasn’t sure if the audience would get it either.  Jackson said he loves “the character of who you are” adding, “I hope America gets it.”

5.      Pia Toscano.  Celine Dion:  “All By Myself.”  Ron Fair, producer.  I was expecting to be annoyed as Dion absolutely trashed Eric Carmen’s version in 1997, taking a power saw and pulverizing this thoughtful ballad into submission, unjustly winding up with a #4 gold single.  Thankfully, although Toscano hit the big, showy notes at the end, she also pulled the melody back down to ground it and prevented the chorus from hitting us over the head.  Lopez loved it so much, at first, she was speechless and just shook her head in amazement.  Jackson reminded Toscano that in the past, the judges usually warned contestants not to take on “the big three”--Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, and Celine Dion—because they usually aren’t able to do their songs justice.  But she did.  Of course, Tyler loved it and wished her “Happy International Women’s Day.”  Huh?!

6.       James Durbin.  Paul McCartney:   “Maybe I’m Amazed.”  Jim Jonsin, producer.  I was already picturing Durbin owning this toward the end with screeching vocal riffs but was surprised he did it in a more subdued, thoughtful way.  It might work in the long run to not be too predictable.   Jackson asserted that he “slayed it” and that it showed his sensitive side.

7.      Haley Reinhart.  LeAnn Rimes:  “Blue.”  Rock Mafia, producer.  Oooh, bad choice.  Rimes’s first hit sounded so dated even back in 1996 like it came out of the ‘30s or ‘40s with all that yodeling.  At least the contestant didn’t try to Christina Aguilerize it with her usual tiresome melisma; Reinhart sang the tune pretty true to its country roots, but it was just too boring.  Jackson began with a nervous laugh, which usually signals his discomfort with a performance.  He agreed with me that it was “a little boring,” “little sleepy.”  Lopez, who’d already said she liked it, had to have the last word saying Reinhart didn’t have to move all over the stage to do it justice, seemingly mirroring what Paula Abdul often did after Simon Cowell delivered a critical verdict.

8.      Jacob Lusk.  R. Kelly:  “I Believe I Can Fly.”  Rodney Jerkins, producer.  I’ve already said I hate this guy.  I hate his fat face, his fat tongue, and his over-the-top gospel style.  So what does he do to make this inspirational song even more cliché?  He brings out a 10-member gospel choir in navy blue robes to back him up.  He was so intent on being stylistic from the start that I’m not sure he sang much of the melody—more an approximation of it.  And he hit a sour note shifting into the B-(second) part of the verse in an attempt to break out of the monotony of the melody. And of course, he did a lot of crowd-pleasing vocal riffing toward the end.  Yawn.  Jackson also noted the sharpness of the B-verse, but overall, the three judges loved it.  Eh.

9.      Thia Megia.  Michael Jackson:  “Smile.”  Jimmy Iovine, producer.  This is the girl I’m rooting for, but I was disappointed.  She started off with acoustic guitar backing her up on this bittersweet ballad first done by Charlie Chaplin, then the drums kicked in in an attempt to give it some rhythm, but it’s hard to do that to a song with such simple lyrics.  Jackson agreed saying he wish she’d just stuck to the way she began the performance.  Tyler said she got “a little pitchy” in the middle.  Lopez liked seeing her move and that “it doesn’t matter, you sing like an angel.”  If Megia wanted to sing another ballad, she would’ve been better off doing “I Just Can’t Stop Loving You,” Michael Jackson’s mystical 1987 duet with Siedah Garrett.

     Coming out of commercials, we usually heard a short interview with one of the contestants who’d just performed talking about how they felt about they were about to do.  Interestingly, though, for the first time, we saw a contestant—Megia—discussing how the actual performance went, and she was in tears, agreeing she did better in the beginning.  “It’s in America’s hands.”  At first, I thought this was a ploy by producers to garner sympathy for her from voters, but succeeding segments also showed a recent performer talking about what they just sang.

10.  Stefano Langone.  Stevie Wonder:  “Lately.”  Polow Da Don, producer.  He botched the low note in the verse, and his voice sounded a bit shaky.  But then, the bass started thumping, and he turned it into an uptempo anthem.  A wise choice.  Lopez was surprised by the transition but loved it.  Jackson agreed with me that Langone had a “rocky start” but that ultimately, Stevie Wonder would be proud of it.

11.   Karen Rodriguez.  Selena:  “I Could Fall In Love.”  Jim Jonsin, producer.  Jimmy Iovine told her not to over sing it.  Well, that she didn’t.  But she didn’t sing it well at all, screwing up the title of the song.  Rodriguez tried to salvage the performance by going into some vocal riffing, but too late.  At least she resisted the urge to sing half of it in Spanish as she’s done with at least two of her past performances.  I knew Rodriguez was in trouble when Lopez (apparently the new Paula Abdul), began by saying “You look so beautiful tonight!”  Oh oh… Yeah, the judge said both her lower end and high end were off key.  Jackson said it “felt like you were fighting the song” and that it was a “little sleepy for me.”  Even Tyler agreed it lacked energy.  Which means… curtains.

12.   Scotty McCreery.  Garth Brooks:  “The River.”  Don Was, producer.  I hate seeing this guy’s smirky face, but he did an OK version in his usually traditional country style.  Jackson continued to rave about McCreery staying true to his calling, exclaiming:  “If it ain’t broke, don’t even think about fixing it!... You could put that out as a record now!” 

13.   Naima Adedapo.  Rihanna:  “Umbrella.”  C “Tricky” Stewart, producer.  OK, I absolutely loathe her idol.  She can’t sing, her accent is annoying, and she doesn’t deserve all of those #1 hits.  But the contestant gave one of the most memorable performances of the night when she began dancing at the bridge of the song and thunder effects flashed on the screen behind her.  To his credit, Tyler mentioned she was a little pitchy.  Lopez said she didn’t care about that but then warned that “you need to work on the control.”  Jackson let out some nervous laughter again and said, “I do care about the pitchiness” and that she had to know when to take breaths in between so she doesn’t screw up the closing of her notes.  Still, he liked the reggae part.  Talking to host Ryan Seacrest afterwards, Adedapo admitted, “I really can overstand [sic] what they’re saying about that breath.”  Yikes!

     OK, based on the feedback of the judges and the performances themselves, I’d say the bottom three are:  Ashton Jones (remember, the viewers didn’t vote her into the Top 10 in the first place), Haley Reinhart, and Karen Rodriguez.  Also possibly in trouble:  Paul McDonald and Naima Adedapo (the viewers didn’t want her in the Top 10 either).  My guess as to who will receive the lowest number of votes and will be going home:  Karen Rodriguez.

“American Idol: The Top 13 Are Chosen” by Guy Aoki

Thursday, March 3.  One of the main questions in watching this year’s “American Idol” is, how much will the voters be swayed by the comments of the judges, and if they are, whose opinion will they trust the most?  In the past, they generally agreed with the feedback from the panel and trusted Simon Cowell’s judgment the most.  Yesterday, I based my prediction of which of the 24 finalists would be voted into the Top 10 and which would be offered second chances as “wild card” choices on a combination of performance and judge comments. 

     Well, I guessed all of the women correctly:  Karen Rodriguez, Lauren Turner, Thia Megia, Lauren Alaina, and Pia Toscano got in.  And I got four out of the five guys correctly:   James Durbin, Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk, and Casey Abrams.  The viewers were smarter than I gave them credit for as they rejected judges favorite Brett Loewenstern, replacing him with Paul McDonald, who I’d predicted the judges might save as a “wild card” choice.

     I’d forgotten that the judges would give several contestants a second chance to perform tonight before choosing three additional candidates to add to the Top 10.  But in true “American Idol” fashion, they did a terrible job of explaining what was going to happen at the top of the hour. Even after the Top 10 was chosen and before the “second chance” auditions began, it didn’t get much clearer:  Randy Jackson explained that the judges would choose six contestants—three guys and three gals.  Host Ryan Seacrest said they could do any song they’ve performed in the past, but then looked at the judges table to confirm that they still hadn’t made up their minds how many would be picked from those six (even when it had already been announced in the press that it would be three).

     Given the performances of those six, I was hoping they wouldn’t stretch it to four because only two really earned it. 

1.       Ashton Jones, who’d done an OK job on Wednesday, deserved a second chance, and she was chosen first.  This time, she picked a better song in Jennifer Holliday’s “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.”  But she didn’t overwhelm me with this classic which is supposed to overwhelm you.  In the end, I felt she was just a competent R&B singer.

2.       Stefano Langone, whom I’d picked as a possible “wild card” choice yesterday, performed the unknown Smokey Robinson song “I Need You Now.”  It didn’t do much for me at first until he got to the chorus, which allowed him to repetitiously get emotional.  Then, he gained some traction.

3.       Kendra Chantelle, another one of my predicted “wild card” choices, offered a weak version of “Georgia On My Mind,” once again demonstrating what’s plagued the average “Idol” finalists since 2002:  The ability to belt on choruses but inability to sing the low notes of quieter verses. 

4.       Jovany Barreto was a surprise pick.  The Cuban American followed Tuesday night’s “I’ll Be” with another boring ballad—Jon Secada’s “Angel.”  Perhaps figuring what worked for Karen Rodriguez (she did Mariah Carey’s “Hero” in English and Spanish) might also work for him, Baretto performed it bilingually, starting off in Spanish and moving into English.  Emotional song as it is, his performance still didn’t do much for me.

5.       The wrinkles in Naima Adedapo’s forehead returned as she sang Donny Hathaway’s “For All We Know,” almost crying in parts (I’m going to have to leave the room when she sings in the future—she’s too painful to watch).  There was too much melisma from the start, and she didn’t ride tightly enough to the melody, but she did have a strong voice and seemed to impress the audience with… what else?  A looong held note.

     I really wanted Clint Jun Gamboa to be given a shot (and genuinely felt for him earlier when he stood on the stage awaiting the results of the Top 10, the tension proved to be too much, and broke down into sobs) but feared the judges would give it to this year’s Justin Guarini—Brett Loewenstern.  Instead, they picked…

6.       Robbie Rosen, who proceeded to do a too wispy version of “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” by Elton John.  Arrrghgh.

     I was also surprised “mini-Bette Midler” Lauren Turner didn’t get a second chance.

     Based on tonight’s performances, the only two who deserved to be saved were Stefano Langone and Naima Adedapo.  I hoped for Kendra Chantelle because—well, she’s nice to look at, OK?  The judges agreed with me and picked the first two, but they went with Ashton Jones over Chantelle.  Just watch:  Jones will be “voted out” by the audience within two weeks anyway.  She’s simply too ordinary.

     According to Fox 11’s Jane Yamamoto, next week, the Top 13 will perform songs first done by their personal idols—the singers who inspired them.  Stay tuned.

“American Idol: The Top 12 Women: Who Deserves To Advance?” by Guy Aoki

Wednesday, March 2:  As in the previous night, Randy Jackson emerged as the toughest of the three judges.  Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler usually liked everything with the judge emeritus holding the contestants to a higher standard.  If the two newbie judges weren’t enthusiastic about a performance, watch out.  It meant curtains.  Overall, the guys performed better yesterday than the gals.

1.      Ta-Tynisa Wilson:  “Only Girl (In the World)”/Rihanna.  Wilson sounded shaky on the quieter verses, too sharp on the choruses, and strangely enough, too flat on the final booming chorus.  Although Lopez and Tyler liked her performance, Jackson noted her being sharp on the choruses as well.

2.      Naima Adedapo:   “Summertime”/Abbie Mitchell.  She of the painful facial expressions wasn’t as hard to look at as she delivered this blues standard in a more relaxed, lounge style, but the song’s never done anything for me.  Predictably, Jackson reminded her that former “Idol” champion Fantasia knocked out the judges (but not me) with her rendition and that Adedapo’s version paled by comparison.  Still, Tyler said she reminded him of early Ella Fitzgerald.

3.      Kendra Chantelle:  “Impossible”/Christina Aguilera.  The attractive blonde, who impressed me singing harmony with Paul McDonald during Hollywood week, looked great in a black leather outfit and gave a good but not knockout performance.  Jackson said he “really liked it,” especially her vibrato.

4.      Rachel Zevita:  “Criminal”/Fiona Apple.  I don’t know why she made the Top 24 in the first place.  The usually reserved 23–year old New Yorker with the older-European face who rarely smiles, strutted confidently on stage in a mini-dress, even singing behind the judges’ stage, but botched the singing of the verse.  None of the judges were overly impressed.  Tyler noted it sounded “Broadway,” and Jackson said it “wasn’t good.”  End of the line for her.

5.      Karen Rodriguez:  “Hero”/Mariah Carey.  I was annoyed that she went in and out of English and Spanish for this one, even mimicking Carey’s ridiculous hand gestures (Mariah never knew what to do with her hands on stage), but of course, Latina Lopez loved the bilingual take.  Rodriguez got a kick out of Jackson saying the Spanish part may’ve been even better than the English part.  Well, at least she looked better and classier with straighter hair.

6.      Lauren Turner:  “Seven Day Fool”/Jully Black.  She sang it as brassy as she looked, in a strong voice, and made no mistakes, so she’ll probably make it to the Top 13.  All of the judges liked it with Jackson exclaiming, “That’s how you do it!”

7.      Ashton Jones:   “Love Over Me”/Monica.  Jones confidently paced the stage, throwing a “you know what I’m talking ‘bout!” ad lib to give us the sense that she was owning the song.  But I didn’t care for her selection and neither did Jackson.

8.      Julie Zorilla:  “Breakaway”/Kelly Clarkson.  She doomed her chances by doing a copycat version in a not particularly strong voice, trying to save it by doing extended melisma (milking several syllables out of one-syllable words) runs at the end.  Not enough to save herself.  Lopez didn’t feel it came from her heart.  Zorilla responded, “I can bring it!” as if pleading for another chance, but if she could, then why didn’t she just then?  Tyler said it was the wrong song, and Jackson said she brought nothing new to it.  It’s over.

9.      Haley Reinhart:  “Fallin’”/Alicia Keys.  During Hollywood week, I couldn’t stand her over-reliance on melisma—she’d use it on the very first verse of songs--and rooted for her to be cut.  But she made the Top 24 anyway.  Sigh.   There’s not much you can do with a too-often performed, two chord song.  I predicted Jackson was going to repeat his “you brought nothing new to it” line, but he actually liked it.  So did the other two judges.  Bah humbug.

10.   Thia Megia:  “Out Here On My Own”/Irene Cara.  OK, this was the first contestant I cheered for all night.  Excellent, excellent choice of song from the movie Fame.  She started singing on a darkened stage with a single spotlight on her and demonstrated vunerability, slowly building to show off her strong voice and… extra points here… ended the performance with no attempt at melisma whatsoever.  Tyler said it’s hard to pick just five girls out of such a talented bunch, but it was easy to pick her.  Jackson served a reminder that all contestants should remember:  It’s not about the vocal runs you do to try to impress people, it’s the quality of the voice.  He even said Megia reminded him of Michael Jackson:  “This is what hot singing is about!”  Welcome to the Top 5, Thia.  And you’re still just 15 years old?!

11.   Lauren Alaina:  “Turn On The Radio”/Reba McEntire.  The curly haired, heavy-set 16 year old--who looks more like 26-- has never impressed me.  At the Nashville auditions, the judges proclaimed her the best they’d seen in the city.  I didn’t know what they were talking about.  Tonight, the female background singers were a bit too loud on her uptempo country tune, but she performed in strong voice and made no mistakes.  The cheers were predictable.  Jackson exclaimed, “I don’t think you know how good you are,” adding that her ability to blend R&B with country made her a cross between past “Idol” winners Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood.

12.   Pia Toscano:  “I’ll Stand By You”/The Pretenders.  Loved her during Hollywood group week where she showed what a strong voice she has.  Her trio generated the best, most pleasing harmonies of all the ensembles.  She was always reliable, but I always hated this wimpy song which lacks songwriting craft.  I wasn’t that impressed with her version, though she saved it by holding a single note soaring over the final chorus.  All three judges gave her a standing ovation.

Verdict:  Based on tonight’s performances and the reactions of the judges, the five moving on to the Top 10 should be:  Karen Rodriguez, Lauren Turner, Thia Megia, Lauren Alaina, and Pia Toscano.  Wildcard pick:  Kendra Chantelle.  No chance in hell:  Rachel Zevita and Julie Zorilla.

We’ll see tomorrow night.

"American Idol’s Top 12 Men: Who Deserves To Advance?” by Guy Aoki

““

Tuesday, March 1:  This was our first opportunity to see how smooth new judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler could be in a live show.  For some reason, this was taped on Friday, so there was opportunity to make edits, but the two seemed comfortable alongside now senior-judge Randy Jackson.   Thankfully, unlike in previous years, the previously-taped video packages didn’t rehash the sob stories of some of the contestants’ backgrounds, focusing mainly on their singing ability.   

1.       Clint Jun Gamboa:  “Superstition”/Stevie Wonder.  The usually powerful vocalist--who unfortunately wears coke-bottle glasses reminiscent of the Japanese during World War II—gave a loud performance.  Lopez noticed his nervousness, and her comments were restricted along the lines of, “See, isn’t it great that you got that [nervousness] out of the way?!”  Jackson enthused that it wasn’t a karaoke performance, and it was “brilliant.”

2.      Jovany Barreto:  “I’ll Be”/Edwin McCain.  The singer, who looks like he failed the audition for “The Jersey Shore,” made the best of a dreary song.  Jackson, who got the last word, said he didn’t want to “break up the applecart”—uh, actually, it’s “upset the applecart,” dawg!—but Barreto didn’t bring anything new to the song.  Lopez interjected, “I disagree, it was great,” sounding like Paula Abdul to Simon Cowell’s “final comments” of the past.

3.      Jordan Dorsey:  “O.M.G.”/Usher.  OK, I could not stand this pompous ass from day one, so I loved his messed up performance.  He couldn’t control his low notes (an Idol cliché) or falsetto.  And it was uncomfortable watching him trying to dance.  He’s too tall, thin, and lanky, with little coordination.  Nothing about his effort jelled.  All three judges agreed this wasn’t his best.  When Lopez asked him, “Is that who you want to be as an artist?” he responded:  “No, no no!”  Then why the hell did you do it?  Lopez explained that she thought of him as a balladeer ala Nat “King” Cole.  Jackson said Dorsey didn’t hit the notes well and his version paled in comparison to the original.  To nervous laughter, the contestant admitted, “Yeah.  It’s not me.  It’s not me.  No, it’s not me.  It’s not me.”  When host Ryan Seacrest asked him what we could look forward to hearing from him if he made it past this round, Dorsey answered:  “Oh, you’re gonna see a whole lot better from me!  Because I’m not a jumpy, jumpy singer!”  So again, why did you agree to do that song?

4.      Tim Halperin:  “Streetcar Symphony (Come On Over)”/Rob Thomas.  Halperin gave an energetic performance, but Jackson asserted he added nothing new to the original version.  Tyler said “it really let me down.”  Lopez felt it didn’t show viewers who he really was. 

5.      Brett Loewenstern:  “Light My Fire”/The Doors.  When I tuned in to watch the first season of “American Idol” back in 2002, I was constantly surprised that no matter what Justin Guarini performed, the judges called him the second coming of Christ.  I found him incredibly boring, and when his first album was released and flopped and he soon became the punch line of “Where is he now?” jokes, I felt justified in my original assessment of him.  Well, Loewenstern’s the Justin Guarini of Season 10.  His voice is weak, and since the judges always put a premium on “being yourself” on stage, how could they praise this nerd for trying to act sexy and tossing his red curly locks 14 times during his lame performance of “Light My Fi-yahhhh?”

6.      James Durbin:  “You’ve Got Another Thing Coming”/Judas Priest.  Thank God we didn’t have to see old tape of him crying over losing his job and having a son with his girlfriend (hey, buddy, you ever heard of condoms?  No sympathy from me).  Durbin’s one of the ugliest contestants in recent memory—even when he’s not crying.  Get rid of the cap so you can unleash as much hair as possible to cover your symmetrical face and offset the dumbo-sized ears.  But the guy can wail like Season 8 runner-up Adam Lambert and rockers like Steven Tyler himself.  He rarely does wrong because even when he gets into his upper register, he falls short of screeching.  

7.      Robbie Rosen:  “Angel”/Sarah McLachlan.  I give credit to the teenager for making this dreary, too-often performed song more bearable with touches of falsetto.  Tyler and Lopez liked it, with the latter saying she felt every word he sang and believe he made better vocal choices than the original artist.  But Jackson felt there was too much falsetto and that he was too often off pitch.

8.      Scotty McCreery:  “Letters From Home”/John Michael Montgomery.  Traditional country’s not my thing.  But this 17 year old with the deep voice does it well, so he deserves acknowledgment for that.  The judges loved that he’s being true to himself.

9.      Stefano Langone:  “Just The Way You Are”/Bruno Mars.  The Seattle-based singer gave a joyous performance, doing a nice turn of the melody in the chorus that startled Lopez.  All three judges loved his performance with Jackson saying, “this kid could be on the radio right now!”

10.  Paul McDonald:  “Maggie May”/Rod Stewart.  I was happy when this unique-voiced singer made the cut, but was disappointed with his rather fragile-voiced rendition of the older woman screwing up an inexperienced boy-tale.  Tyler said he “had a real character in your voice.”  Lopez loved that he smiled throughout the song.  Jackson was encouraged that someone “really quirky and different” could make it on the show.

11.  Jacob Lusk:  “A House Is Not A Home”/Dionne Warwick.  Lusk and Dorsey were two of the most annoying contestants who made it through to the Top 24.  After performing “God Bless the Child” during Hollywood week with Randy Jackson inexplicably—and undeservedly—calling it the single best performance he’d ever heard on “Idol,” the contestant ran into the arms of his relatives and broke down crying as if he’d just run a marathon… or found the cure for cancer.  Too full of himself.  Cliched gospel singer who kept adding a punctuated “hah!” at the end of his phrases.  Having said that, he gave a relatively restrained performance of the popular song revived by Luther Vandross in the ‘80s.  Lopez tearfully revealed that Vandross was her favorite singer of all time.  “He’s gone.  But now, we have you.”  Wow.   Tyler exclaimed, “I am honored to be in your presence.  You make me cry when you sing.”

12.  Casey Abrams:  “I Put A Spell On You”/Screaming Jay Hawkins.  This curly haired red head/red beard almost didn’t make it to the taping as he had to be rushed to the hospital complaining of stomach pains.  You wouldn’t have known it as he growled out the classic and took command of the stage.  All of the judges loved it.  Tyler said it was “as good as it gets.”  Lopez told him he was sexy.  Jackson asserted the original artist was “jumping up and down” in support.

Verdict:  Based on their performances tonight and feedback from the judges, the five men who should make the Top 10 are:  Brett Loewenstern, James Durbin, Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk, and Casey Abrams.  Wildcard (each of the judges will get to add a guy or gal who failed to make the cut, resulting in a Top 13):  Clint Jun Gamboa and Paul McDonald or Stefano Langone.