Thursday, April 14. Since the Top 13 contestants were established last month, “America” has chosen—each and every week—to boot out a female (giving fuel to the theory that screaming teenage girls—the ones more apt to vote numerous times for their favorite performancers—were supporting guys they thought were cute and neglecting singers of their own sex). That finally ended tonight. The remaining contestants sang in groups before learning how well they did the previous night.
1. As they did two weeks ago, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina teamed up for a country song, this time, Lady Antebellum’s “American Honey.” There was nothing special about it. It was such a humdrum performance, in fact, that even when the pair continued singing in the back of the judges’ tables, the three just talked to each other!
But the fate of McCreery and Alaina was put on hold as we saw a behind-the-scenes look at the Top 8 getting an anti-makeover as most played zombies for this week’s Ford Music Video of “Animal.” Since these weekly ads-within-the-show go by so fast (thankfully) the singers walked pretty fast even for zombies.
2. Casey Abrams and Hailey Reinhart got together for the jazzy “Moanin’” where they traded growls and scats. It was kinda fun but ultimately a forgettable song. How weird that Ryan Seacrest went to the judges for their opinion. Randy Jackson was all excited, telling Reinhart that’s how she should’ve performed last night, showing more of her personality.
Finally, the previous four singers were brought to center stage to hear the results. McCreery was sent to safety (big shock) and the rest were told that one of them was in the bottom three. It was Haley Reinhart.
In a taped segment, director Rob Reiner hung out with the contestants answering any questions they had about anything. In the end, he thanked them for listening “to a fat Jew.” Oh come on. Not funny. Please explain what distinguishes a “fat Jew” from a “fat gentile?” I loved this guy as Mike Stivic on “All in the Family.” Over the last 25 years, with his balding head, increasing white hair, and large girth, he’s been unrecognizable. I would love to see him put on a wig, dye his hair, and play that character again even though Carroll O’Connor’s no longer with us (I know, without Archie Bunker as his antagonist, what’s the point right?).
The original winner of the first season of “American Idol”—Kelly Clarkson—returned to the stage with Jason Aldean to sing “Don’t You Wanna Stay,” their #1 country duet. Aldean’s cliched headgear (“I’m a country singer so I gotta wear the big hat”) was so large it cast a long shadow over his eyes. Pretentious. Even though she wore a black dress to hide her weight-gain and the cameras tried shooting her from side angles, it was clear how much Clarkson has ballooned since we last saw her. She had enough hips for two people. After the song was done and she playfully sparred with Seacrest, the camera finally caught her head on. Man, she looked like a whale. She also lacked the star quality we’d previously seen in her. Maybe it was due to the boring song but she’s really gotta slim down before her album comes out in the fall.
3. Just like two weeks ago, the four remaining guys performed together strumming their guitars. This time, they took turns singing a medley of two Simon and Garfunkel classics: “The Sound of Silence” and “Mrs. Robinson.” Paul McDonald’s voice was so weak when he came in on his line that it was offensive. Kick this guy off the show already! Not surprisingly, he and Stefano Langone didn’t sound all that great together. But on the first song, I give Jacob Lusk credit for supplying solid harmony to James Durbin.
More than 53 million votes determined that two of these four men were in the bottom three. It was Stefano Langone and Paul McDonald. So after correctly guessing the bottom three the first week, I’ve now accurately predicted two of the bottom three for the fifth week in a row. Speaking of predictions, last week, I asserted that Pia Toscano--who was shockingly eliminated-- would be picked up by Interscope Records but that the announcement probably wouldn’t be made until after the competition was over so as not to take away from the importance of winning the contest. Well, within a couple of days came reports that the label had done just that but the company wasn’t officially confirming it. In an article in Billboard Magazine tonight, even the singer’s sister said she couldn’t speak to that rumor.
One thing to thank the producers for this year: We no longer have to put up with Seacrest corralling the contestants to hear a recap of the judges’ comments from the previous night only to have to wait for commercials to hear who’s not safe. That really pissed off too many people.
Before we learned who was going home this week, Seacrest introduced two audience members: Chaka Khan and Anita Baker. Then Rihanna took the stage to sing her new single “Califonia King.” Sonavagun, she actually sang the entire thing without going off key! Whoda thunk it?
Calling the bottom three up again, Seacrest pointed out that since the audience started voting on the Top 13, only girls have gone home. For the first time, it was gonna be a guy because Reinhart was safe. Jennifer Lopez was happy, clapping, probably relieved that her feedback on the singer’s performance last night didn’t doom her. I thought Langone would finally be put out of his misery so I was a bit surprised—but nevertheless happy—to learn that the person receiving the lowest number of votes was Paul McDonald.
Based on his performance of “That Old Time Rock ’n Roll” last night, he didn’t deserve to go home, but he should’ve been ejected weeks ago for past crimes against eardrums.
After we saw video clips of his “Idol” journey that led him to this point, Seacrest asked McDonald to sing his swan song. He said he didn’t know which one to do. Jennifer Lopez made a request: Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May.” Wow, the band must be mind readers because someone started playing the mandolin introduction of that hit before she even named it!
Great, now, if we can get rid of Stefano Langone and Jacob Lusk, it’ll be easier to listen to the show in the future. Check back here Wednesday night to see how the Top 7 do as we count down to the winner of television’s #1 show.
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