“Shocking ‘Elimination’” by Guy Aoki

Thursday, March 24.  Early on, host Ryan Seacrest warned us that when he revealed the judgment from over 30 million votes following last night’s performance show “the outcome of that result may shock you.”  Isn’t that redundant, like saying “the start of the beginning?”  Anyway, he certainly got that right.  It was an hour full of pleasant surprises and at least one shocker.

     Addressing the chronic problem of “pitchiness” that has plagued many of the contestants this year, Seacrest said they sent in an expert to help them out.  Talk about nepotism.  We saw video of Jennifer Lopez’s husband Marc Anthony (who hasn’t had a hit since 2000) working with the singers to make sure they could hear the music and themselves properly in their ear phones.  The fact that no one was cited for a “pitchy” offense last night means the producers should probably  fire their sound technicians (that’s why these kids sang off key so much?  They couldn’t hear themselves?).

     Since this was Motown week, the Top 11 group song was “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”—the upbeat version by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell.  Wow, Naima Adedapo had to sing a verse of something and she didn’t flub it!  In a smart move, the track shifted to the climax of the Diana Ross power ballad version.

     Then, one of the label’s legendary artists—a man who hasn’t left the company since signing with it in 1960!—began appearing on stage playing keyboards--Stevie Wonder himself.  Lopez and Steven Tyler got a kick out of it, laughing with their heads on each others’ shoulders.  The contestants backed him up vocally as he sang his 1970 hit “Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours.”  And furthering that surprise, Wonder did a snippet of his 1980 album track that asserted Martin Luther King’s birthday should be a holiday, “Happy Birthday.”  Turns out it was Tyler’s big day.  Some of the women brought out a cake, and all three judges went up on stage.  I liked the loose feel this gave the show; in the past, they almost never moved from their seats.  Tyler said he was speechless.

     After a commercial break, we were “treated” to the weekly obligation, the Ford music video.  This time, the remaining contestants skipped along to the bouncy “All This Beauty,” and the music and visuals were even more forgettable than last week’s. 

     Finally, we began to get down to business as Scotty McCreery, Pia Toscano, and Lauren Alaina were called up to hear their fates.  They were all safe.

     After giving us only three minutes and 15 seconds of their program, the producers had the gall to go to yet another commercial break!

     When we came back, country band Sugarland performed “Stuck Like Glue,” a juvenile ditty with lame lyrics like, “You and me, baby, we’re stuck like glue,” and seemingly a million “woah oh woah oh”s.  Then female lead singer Jennifer Nettles attempted what might constitute a country rap.  Hey, that was greaaaat!  Wouldn’t it have made more sense to instead ask Motown to trot out one of its current acts in an attempt to prove they still have something to offer the world of music?  Or at least walk us down memory lane again with Diana Ross, Smokey Robinson, or Lionel Richie?  The Michael Jackson-less Jackson Five?  El DeBarge? 

     Then we watched silly video of some of the male contestants talking about how they love professional wrestling and acting like Neanderthals at the “Idol” house cracking objects over each others’ heads.  James Durbin and Paul McDonald, two of the wrestling fans, were called up by Seacrest to learn the verdict.  Seacrest used a new “creative” way of making us think both were in the bottom three:  “Both of you are not safe tonight.”  Then Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger” blared and Hulk Hogan came out from center stage to the delight of both contestants.  They weren’t safe from Hogan.  Get it?  He told them they were actually both safe then threw the host into the audience.  Hey!  I sometimes wanted to do that myself!

     Conclusion #1:  No matter who weakly McDonald sings every week, the judges like him and so do the voters.

     Jacob Lusk, Thia Megia, and Stefano Langone were called to their feet.  As I predicted in last night’s blog, Lusk was safe, but the other two were in the bottom three.

     The fourth group consisted of Naima Adedapo, Haley Reinhart, and Casey Abrams.  Adedapo was sent back to the safety couch.  Hmm, I thought, guess I was right:  Even though she sang well last night, the audience just doesn’t like Haley.  So this was a big surprise:  She was safe but Abrams wasn’t!

     OK, but once again, I correctly guessed two out of the bottom three.

     Conclusion #2:  Every week, the audience throws us off by not supporting someone who, compared to their competitors, deserved to continue on.  Last time, it was Karen Rodriguez, and she ended up going home.

     For the first time, we had men in the bottom three.  The past two weeks were filled with women.

     Before we found out who was in danger of leaving the show and not going on tour, Season 3 contestant Jennifer Hudson returned to sing her latest single, “Where You At?”  Seacrest proclaimed, she’s someone “who’s not only a Grammy winner, but she’s our only Idol winner with an Oscar.”  Actually, she came in sixth place in 2004.  The host turned his head to another camera just before he said “winner” in “Idol winner,” so he flubbed the reading of his cue cards.  Hudson, someone I rooted to be booted seven years ago, is like the female version of Jacob Lusk as they’re both strongly influenced by the church.  The song was forgettable, and if Hudson wasn’t bad enough of a flashback, we were told another former Idol contestant from Season 3—George Huff—had been singing background vocals.  Huff reminds me of Lusk—very cheery.  Very… happy.  I just hate their silly personalities and wooly way of singing.  It was a segment I’d rather forget altogether.

     After the commercial break, I was relieved to learn that Thia Megia had received the third lowest amount of votes and was therefore safe.  OK, this meant that “no connection” Stefano Langone was going home right?  Shocker.  It was Casey Abrams.

     Randy Jackson clearly was in disbelief with his mouth hanging open.  Either the voters took the teddy bear singer for granted, assuming he had enough votes to pass for another week, or they didn’t love him like the judges did.  He began “singing for his life” to convince the music Gods to use their veto power which they can only use on one contestant until they reach the Top Five (then they can’t save anyone).  Then Jackson waved off the band, saying there was no need to continue—the judges knew what Abrams was about.  Tyler announced they were saving him.

     The crowd went wild.  Abrams looked like he was going to throw up, clearly shocked and flattered.  As he later explained, there are 11 contestants and they’re using it NOW?!  Exactly.  I felt it was a mistake.  If the audience is already not behind one of the strongest singers in the competition, what makes the judges think they won’t vote out another worthwhile candidate next week or the week after that?  Take my word for it--it’s a long six weeks till that Top Five.  To me, it’d be more important to save James Durbin, Pia Toscano, or Naima Adedapo.  Just kidding on that last name.  Wanted to make sure you were paying attention.

     Trying to read the mind of the voters, Lopez recommended Abrams get more down to basics and not play a character.  Jackson built upon that, even going as far as saying he shouldn’t growl anymore either!

     This, of course, only means double doom next week:  Two aspiring recording artists will go home.  But Seacrest revealed that they (the producers) had decided that if someone was saved at this point, that summer tour wouldn’t consist of the Top 10- it would be the Top 11.  So everyone on stage could look forward to continuing to get exposure, keeping their names and voices alive in the public eye with the hope of snagging a recording contract months from now.  Or at least hosting duties for a reality show.

     Though I’m always critical of how contestants could do better, I’d have to say last night’s Top 11 performances could possibly have been the best we’ve ever heard of all the past seasons (no one was outright bad).  So it might be painful to see which two will be cut next week.  Stay tuned.  And remember:  Never use melisma unless you know what you’re doing.  You could hurt yourself.