“The Top 11 Sing Elton John” by Guy Aoki

Stefano Langone serenades judge Jennifer Lopez.

Wednesday, March 29.  Because the judges chose to save Casey Abrams last week, the same 11 contestants got a second chance knowing two of them would be going home tomorrow night.  The theme this week was songs by Elton John (since he’s appearing on “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, it would be great if he showed up here tomorrow night).  Somehow, I knew someone would be singing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me.”  Yep.

1.   Scotty McCreery:  “Country Comfort.”  Don Was, producer.  Our country boy said he took an interest in the song when he noticed “country” in the title and it seemed to work fine for him.  Geesh, that was too easy.  Was suggested he use the second verse because it talked about factories while the first verse talked about a grandma, but McCreery wanted to sing the latter because his grandma would be in the audience that night.  Strumming his guitar, the teenager sang what you’d expect:  country.  He smugly eyed the audience with a “you’ll love this!” look then unleashed a final low note which impressed the audience and judges.

     God, this guy’s cocky and hard to watch.  Predictably, no “that was too safe” or “you keep singing country every week” comments as they’ve scolded Pia Toscano and Thia Megia for doing ballads all the time.  No, only “you have seasoned so fast!” from Randy Jackson who added that it sounded like it could be on a record.
2.  Naima Adedapo:  “I’m Still Standing.”  Don Was, producer.  When host Ryan Seacrest teased before going to commercial that she’d be doing a reggae version of an Elton song, I thought, “bad idea.”  Reggae is one of the most limiting musical forms around.  If you’ve heard one reggae song, you’ve heard them all.  The contestant believed no one else had ever done an Elton John song in this style.  “Yeah, for good reason,” I thought.  Green, orange, and yellow colors engulfed the stage, and she began her performance using an affected “yah mahn” accent saying, “Thees one is for all the people around the world who struggle but steel stand” and proceeded to make us struggle throughout her rendition.  She turned an exciting, life-affirming anthem into a boring experience that just laid there and didn’t go anywhere.

     Jennifer Lopez said she loved her swagger but suggested that song wasn’t meant for a reggae treatment.  Randy Jackson said he loved reggae but “it kinda came off kinda corny” and that it “didn’t quite work.”  Steven Tyler said it fit her.  Yeah, boring.

     After the commercial break, with the ever present Coca Cola logo in the large backscreen, Seacrest welcomed Taio Cruz to the stage.  The soft drink company’s sponsoring a songwriting contest.  People can submit lyrics for a commercial to which Cruz will write the music, and it’ll debut in the finale in May.  In other words, another creative way for the producers to further integrate a commercial sponsor into the show (apparently, the backdrop and coke cups on the judges’ table aren’t enough).

3.  Paul McDonald:  “Rocket Man.”  Record executive Jimmy Iovine urged this weak ass singer to perform it like it’s the encore of a concert performance--with a lot of energy.  Either McDonald rejected that advice or he has no idea what energy is because his version was so relaxed I almost fell asleep.  I’ve said he sounds like a poor man’s Rod Stewart.  Uh, more like a poor man’s Kenny Loggins.  Finally realizing he even looks like him.  McDonald’s voice gave out in places where he was trying to be sexy and whisper lyrics.  Jackson noted a couple of “pitchy” moments but otherwise fell for “the quiet moments” again.  Lopez felt he was holding back too much and not really going for stronger notes he’s probably capable of.  Or maybe this is the best he can do?  Tyler made an eyebrow-raising comment:  He loved it when McDonald didn’t hit all the notes.  Good grief.  Will someone just vote McDonald off the show and put me out of my misery already?

4.  Pia Toscano:  “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me.”  Rock Mafia, producers.  OK, here we go, the song I predicted.  It’s been performed too many times by too many “Idol” contestants and no one’s ever added anything to it.  Neither did Toscano.  Predictably, it was overwrought and she ended it the way she seems to end everything:  “Ohhhhh yeaahhhhhhh!”  Tyler slighted Jackson by saying some were wrong in saying she shouldn’t keep singing ballads.  Lopez said it was “crazy what you do with your voice” and that she felt her more than ever.  Jackson, feeling a bit defensive, pointed out he always said she sang the ballads well and that she once again “slayed” it, but he wanted her to show more range by doing something with at least a mid-tempo feel. 

5.  Stefano Langone:  “Tiny Dancer.”  Iovine was rough with this guy, stopping him many times in the studio when he was off his mark or didn’t sing the melody the way he wanted him to.  I give Langone credit for being able to hit the high notes that Elton John himself can no longer reach.  He confidently ended the song by walking up to the judges table, singing, “tiny dancer in my hand,” and taking Lopez’s hand.  Great touch.  She loved it.  Jackson felt that he connected with the audience.

     When we came back from the break, Howie Mandel was in the audience talking with Langone’s father (Full disclosure:  I hate Mandel.  I always thought he was painfully unfunny, and he “sealed his fate” in 2001 when he tried to get laughs by making fun of my name on Bill Maher’s “Politically Incorrect” while defending fellow comedian Sarah Silverman, who I had criticized for suing a racial slur against Chinese people on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien.”).  Mandel made a ridiculous transition from their small talk to promoting his upcoming new series on Fox which will go nameless here.  As Cher would say, Pffah!

6.   Laura Alaina:  “Candle in the Wind.”  Before the break, Seacrest teased her selection as “the best-selling single in Billboard history.”  Well, the 1997 version with revised lyrics about Princess Diana, yes, but Alaina did the original version about Marilyn Monroe, so not an accurate statement.  She did it in a slightly country style with a cackle in her voice.  Jackson exclaimed:  ”One of the greatest Laura Alaina performances on this stage!”  The resurgently creepy Tyler (he just turned 63!) told the under-aged 16 year old that “I’ve loved you since the first time you laid eyes on me!”  Lopez called her version “Amazing.” 

7.  James Durbin:  “Saturday’s Alright For Fighting.”  I didn’t have much hope for this because it’s a rather superficial song.  He did a straight forward version of it with his trademark yell at the end.  Tyler cracked:  “Just don’t wear out your welcome.  Don’t be up there too long.  You’ll wind up like me!”  Lopez said she felt like she was at one of his concerts.  Jackson pointed out that he set himself apart from other contestants because he was clearly enjoying himself up on stage.  “Dude, that was a great, great, great performance!” 

8.  Thia Megia:  “Daniel.”  Oh no.  C’mon.  The judges keep telling you not to sing ballads and you insist on doing yet another one?  Her rational:  Her best friend was her much older brother and when he left home after graduating from high school, she cried for days.  She was going to channel those feelings into this performance.  Iovine told her the audience had to believe she felt the song or else she’d be in trouble.  Oh, I believed her.  She seemed on the verge of tears at the conclusion of the song.  But I still think she’s in trouble.  What’s more, she didn’t quite hit the high note on “Daniel you’re star.”  Lopez said that Megia, like others tonight, were internalizing the lyrics of the songs (notice it wasn’t a comment specifically about Megia’s performance, which is not great).  Jackson said she had a couple of pitch problems and that it was still a safe selection.  Tyler said she sang it well.  The 16 year old blew a kiss to her brother saying she loved him.  I hope that affection will help her remain in the competition. 

9.  Casey Abrams:  “Your Song.”  Rodney Jerkins, producer.  Iovine was brutal:  He made Abrams watch back video of last week’s performance which garnered the lowest amount of votes.  What was wrong with it?  “Everything!”  Jerkins suggested the singer shave off his beard because it was threatening to overwhelm his identity, so we saw the contestant get his hair cut and, we were lead to believe, his growth whacked.  But on stage, it was merely trimmed.  If the audience had tired of his upbeat growlers, it was strategically a smart move to tone down the performance and surprise us with a ballad.  We could still hear the restlessness in his voice which saved the performance from being too drab.  He ended the classic on an unexpectedly high note, which Tyler loved.  But it’s probably impossible to top the moving innocence and naivete of Elton’s original record.  Jackson and Lopez said they were proud to use their “save” on him last week. 

10.   Jacob Lusk:  “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.”  Tricky Stewart, producer.  My “favorite” contestant said he knew the song through Mary J. Blige’s version, and who should show up at the studio but his idol.  Iovine correctly surmised that “when Jacob goes to that overdramatizing, he can blow the whole thing.”  The kid from Compton, California, did as he was told, giving a relatively restrained performance and saving his showy note for the end.  But I hated listening to him from his very first three willowy words:  “What’ll I gotta…”  I cringed when he sang “What’ll I do when rarning strikes me.”  That’s right.  That’s how he sings “lightning”:  “rarning.”  And “Shorry [sic] seems to be the hardest word” shortly after.  I mean, this guy can barely speak properly, so there’s not much hope for how words will come out when he’s singing.

     Nice background vocal arrangement, for which Lopez gave props to Tricky.  Jackson didn’t  feel he’d picked his “shining spot” like Pia Toscano had; the judge sounded disappointed that Lusk didn’t do it when he modulated to the higher key.  Of the performer’s final note, Lopez remarked, “You don‘t see that everyday.”  Well, “hear,” but we get it. 

11.   Haley Reinhart:  “Bennie and the Jets.”  Jim Jonsin, producer.  Iovine claimed he engineered Elton John and John Lennon doing “Whatever Gets You Through The Night” in 1974.  Uh, maybe second engineer as in you got the real engineer coffee…  She began her performance sitting on a red piano (which Elton used for one of his Vegas stints, that was a wink to him) then began to growl on the second part of the verse.  In his younger years, Elton had a very fluid voice, and he’d take advantage of it by jumping to some unexpectedly high notes as on “read it in a magazine oh ho,” and to her credit, Reinhart nailed it.  Smiling throughout, she gave a confident performance, though the chorus was kinda hokey and a bit labored. 

     Nevertheless, Lopez crunched up her nose as she got into the groove later exclaiming:  “Yes!  That was it, Haley!”  Jackson went even further:  “Best performance of the night right there!”  Sounding creepy again, Tyler slowly added:  “You… sound… sexy!”

     Once again, most of the Top 11 delivered rather consistent performances, so it might hurt to lose at least one of them tomorrow (not you, Naima Adedapo).  My prediction for the bottom three:  Naima Adedapo, Paul McDonald, and Thia Megia.  Of course, the fans apparently love McDonald because they’ve yet to place him there where he deserves.  Lauren Alina could wind up there in his place but she also seems “performance-proof,” so it might be Stefano Langone or Casey Abrams again if the voters still haven’t warmed up to them.

     Going home:  Naima Adedapo and Thia Megia.  We’ll find out tomorrow night.  Check in here for the results.