Thursday, May 12. Many of you probably have DVRs to record your favorite programs while you’re away. I have a DVD recorder. If you’re considering getting one made by Panasonic, forget it. My machine has conked out so many times I swear it trudges on just to piss me off. At this point, it seems I have to use a DVD cleaner on every other operation or it won’t read anything or will actually damage discs making them unrecordable. Apparently, a guy can’t set the timer for “Idol,” go out and celebrate his birthday with friends, come back and assume the machine did its job.
In order to critique tonight’s show, I had to (ugh) read other reporters’ breakdowns of what happened then watch the show in pieces on youtube and various other sites, and I couldn’t find all the pieces either. So screw you, Panasonic. And screw you, blogger, for being down when I wanted to post this!
Scotty McCeery and James Durbin came out strumming guitars for “Start a Band” by Brad Paisley with Durbin sporting a surprisingly convincing “regular” country-sounding voice. Lauren Alaina and Haley Reinhart did another country duet--“Gunpowder and Lead” by Miranda Lambert--but Reinhart tried unconvincingly to act sexy and was vocally weak in the beginning. Alaina, who’s only 16 and seemed unusually confident and brassy at her audition and during Hollywood week, lost her confidence during the actual competition but seemed to get it back the last two nights.
She was the first contestant sent to safety.
In a pre-taped segment, the Top 4 sat down to watch TV and this week’s guest mentor Lady Gaga in concert singing the song she let Haley Reinhart do last week “You and I.” Although the leather-bikini clad performer later stood up on the piano bench and continued playing the keys, she couldn’t hide the fact that it’s still a forgettable song no matter who does it (it’ll be included in her upcoming album Born This Way.)
There were lots of performances by outside artists tonight with Enrique Iglesias returning to sing a medley of his latest single “Dirty Dancer” and his recent comeback hit “I Like It.” Both featured shaky falsetto segments. Season 6 winner Jordin Sparks also took to the stage to promote her new record “I Am Woman,” not to be confused with the Helen Reddy classic or “I’m A Woman” by Maria Muldaur (though that would’ve been appropriate since it was written by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, whose compositions were featured last night). Thankfully, the singer lost the weight she gained a couple years ago and looked good in a silver raincoat skirt which she later took off to reveal a black skirt underneath. She strutted through the aggressive Beyonce-like song with help from four female dancers then four male dancers, even kissing StevenTyler.
Speaking of which, after all these years, the lead singer of Aerosmith finally got around to recording a solo single—“(It) Feels So Good”--and we got to see the premiere of the music video for it. The clip started out in black and white and gradually moved to color then back and forth. A 20-ish dirty blonde cavorted throughout the song as the object of Tyler’s lust. Given how Jennifer Lopez got her first Top 10 hit in five years by debuting “On the Floor” on this show, Tyler’s upbeat track could become his first Top 10 success in 10 years since 2001’s “Jaded.”
Scotty McCreery, James Durbin, and Haley Reinhart were called up to center stage once again. At this point, it was a given that the men would be safe. So it was surprising to hear that they were still in jeopardy but Reinhart—who landed in the bottom three more than any other contestant this season--made it into Top 3!
The person going home was… James Durbin?! OK, what the—beep! You stupid teenage beep! beeps! What the beep! is wrong with your beeping! tastes?! First you send home Pia Toscano when she can sing rings around Lauren Alaina, Haley Reinhart, Scotty McCreery, Stefano Langone and others whom I choose to forget because they should’ve been eliminated long before her—oh yeah, Paul (ugh!) MacDonald. Now you send home the other contestant who was a shoo-in for the top two?! Does hearing real talent bother you?! Does it make you feel uncomfortable?!
It looks like this season will be known for two things. One: Against expectations, with Simon Cowell leaving and the risky addition of two new judges, “American Idol” actually maintained its audience from last year instead of continuing its trend toward losing viewers. Two: The voters were absolute idiots who voted to keep shaky-voiced male singers apparently because they were male, then “voting off” the two best performers in the competition early on. After Toscano’s shocking elimination, the producers admitted they were considering giving the judges more of a say in next year’s voting process (because the public is getting too stupid to trust). You can be sure they’re going to make that official now.
We’re left with Scotty “Johnny one-note/country is all I sing and that’s all I have to do to please the judges” McCreery, Lauren “I don’t take chances every week but the judges anointed me “the one” since my Nashville auditions and I’ve gotten away with murder ever since” Alaina, and Haley “I put a growl in my voice to be sexy but I don’t really feel sexy because you know, I just like playing dress up” Reinhart. Does it really matter who wins at this point?
No. “American Idol” has officially jumped the shark. It’s become a joke. Last year was bad enough: Although the judges were blamed for putting through the most boring Top 12 of all time, people forget there were actually some unique-sounding vocalists in the Top 24—most of them women—but the mostly female teenyboppers who vote kazillion times for their crushes didn’t support them, and they were all gone before the competition really got moving. This year, the public waited a bit to eliminate the talented ones. Gee, thanks!
Rightfully so, Durbin looked surprised and upset to be kicked out. Tearfully, though, he said today he had a feeling he would be gone but took pride because “I did so much stuff that’s never been done on this show before” and he did what he came to do—make metal music appealing to the masses. Jennifer Lopez’s face was streaked with tears as she listened. He sang Paul McCartney’s “Maybe I’m Amazed” as his swan song, going into the audience and kissing his fiancé. By the time it was over, Lopez looked like she’d been crying.
Are you still going to turn in next week to see the undeserving Top Three? I’m obliged to since I started this blog, but at this point, it really doesn’t matter anymore. Oh yeah, and f*ck you, Panasonic.
Good thing I don't vote for "American Idol" talent or I'd be in that category of people you call "Idiots!" For me, I like Scotty. I can do without the two female finalists though. Durbin definatly had the pipes to carry on. Its all about the voting at this point...I have a DVD recorder here too, but fortunatly it still works when I need it to. Carry on with your blog Guy, its always a fascinating read...
ReplyDeleteMy husband agrees with your headline. Here's my take on this. Heavy metal people are not the type to vote. Case in point, my husband didn't vote. Now who are the idiots? Durbin got eliminated simply because his fans didn't vote for him enough.
ReplyDelete